Song Cry

Today is 11/11, Veteran's day. Since my last post America has followed through on what I felt was a logical choice by electing Barack Obama to be our next president. Hopes are up, and at the same time, the world continues the same. When I think about it, in many ways(which I will explore in a different post), War is like the film business, "the show must go on". 

And now it is 2008. The increasingly intense war in Afghanistan has been running for 7 years now. Somehow I keep forgetting I have to finish reading "Ghost Wars : The Secret History of the CIA in Afghanistan from September 1979 - September 10, 2001". It's like 800 pages long. The war in Iraq will reach it's 6th year a few short months in the beginning of 2009. Russia is puffing it's chest. Old soviet nations are taking sides and support between east & west. There are wars where the ideals & interests of a nation are fought for by men and women who represent neither side. But now we're going to have a President with a cool, calm, and collected demeanor. What will that mean as far as international relations? Will neo-cons fears of his 'niceness' being taken advantage of by rogue nations come true? Will he make amends with every world leader and give peace a chance successfully? Or will it all be much of the same? Change is a process, a slow movement, a few steps in a marathon. 

It's a long road. I'm listening to the Blueprint. 

I can't see 'em coming down my eyes

so I gotta make the song cry

peace

t 

It's a New Day

Thursday, 9.4 00 8 

Another day all over the place. I'm calling my second album 'Walk'. There's a reason why. On the move and 'flying in' are words you often hear on the radio. Flying in! Fast. Motion. There's no time other than now to take your chance. Step. Don't just stand there. Move. Do SOMETHING. Walk. I walk everywhere. I enjoy it, surely it must be one of the human races greatest past times, going for a walk. The streets, roads and paths have changed. They've gone away. They've gone from dirt to stone to gravel. Back to grass. And we're on our own two feet. Bi-pedal. If you don't step you're not making use of the two. You need the two because without it you can't get to three. And we all know how important the third is. Sometimes I feel like my life is a constant state of a full count and the pitcher throwing fastballs at me. When I hit it's big, and when I miss it's just as big. 

Lately it's been big for me. I'm very grateful and I think that the gratitude results in my optimistic attitude. I'm working hard, and I'm happy. I have to believe that it can only get better. I have to believe that. 

It's a New Day

One Time 4 Your Mind

Wednesday.

Halftime. 

Almost there. Tomorrow's payday. 

Then it's friday, and yeah, friday's good. 

Illmatic playing, my O.G. iPhone which survived a pool but couldn't handle the crush of the pathfinder's door, is done for. I need to get the new one. There was an hour + wait at the 5th ave Apple store earlier. I'm not havin' that. 

I am sometimes so very much in love with my job. At Silvercup studios, current home of Gossip Girl, 30 Rock & Entourage (yes they're in NYC for a few weeks). We're on stage 3 in the cafe / art gallery set. They put a giant balloon in the middle of the cleared gallery. We rigged 3 projectors in the corners of the room up above the ceiling.  We rigged one projector on a stand that had wheels so we could send the thing up as high as we wanted and roll it around the room. So we rigged everything, the projectionist comes in and hooks it up, the other two techs take out 4 macbook pro's (one for each) and start the animations. All it does is project the image of the computer screen onto the surface. The surface here happens to be a giant balloon ball about 7 feet across. Spinning and waving with the animation. Two camera guys come in, and the D.P. joins us. We like it. We're going to move the mounted projectors higher above the grid tomorrow for a better angle. 

We mess around with it. In comes the producers, the A.D. and the director of that episode going to be filmed. They like it. Everyone loves the giant trippy balloon (now with some crazy animations). Someone says "anything else?", someone else says "let's do acid" (NOT ME). 

Today was a fun day. I was in the cafe set(which is actually in the same spot where Dr. Melfi's  office once stood) making extensions for the crates that attach to the lights to direct the light, called snoots. I had my little table set up and my process was going. 10 Big ones and 4 littles ones. "Taking meticulous care & pride in accomplishing small tasks". My little work table was set-up in the cafe adjacent to the gallery set while people worked around me, clearing the set, hanging lights, painting walls, moving walls. Constant motion. Lifts, paint brushes, hammers, screw guns, cameras, lights, ACTION! The real action is there. Constant cast of new and old characters. I truly believe it is some other world of insanity sometimes. And I love it. 

Hello, Goodbye

Today my former roommate(who was with living with me for the summer) moved out and went back to live with her family in China. She had been in New York for 6 years and was here going to school, she recently graduated from NYU. She's going back to run a charity that she had started when she was in high school. It's kind of sad really knowing that I won't see her for a long time(or ever! Who knows?). I can't imagine just up and leaving everything here behind, but then again, she's going home. I want to wish her luck on her journey and I hope she succeeds in everything she set out to do!

I started a new roommate search. Within 10 minutes of posting my ad on craigslist I got over 10 responses. An hour and a half later and I've got 50 e-mails with people from all over. London, Australia, California, North Carolina, South Carolina, and other places. Students, artists, classical musicians, fashion interns, attorneys and even a self-described bad ass motha fucka. Even living in Williamsburg, Brooklyn a place known for it's out-of-town residents, I am surprised by the overwhelming response. New York is where people want to be. New York is where people come to learn. People leave New York all the time but I wonder if they ever leave the city behind for good. How could you? I look forward to having someone new in my world. I hope I can be a good host and representative of this great city I will always call home. 

 

Get Away

Sometimes I feel I've got to Get Away.

One of my favorite Mobb Deep songs. 

It's been a long time since I've left this shining city on the sea of New York. And though I'm in love with it, and it is everything to me, and everything that I am is owed to the experiences I've had here, I feel like I need to escape it. The city that never sleeps. The city of lights. There is always something going on, but there's always something to miss out on. New York can and will beat you down. In every sense that you could be. It is a constantly in motion turbine of life. Spinning. A microcosm of the universe. I'm in it. Spinning with everyone else.

I need a break! As it turns out, this isn't one of those rides you can just ask to stop and get off. We all have obligations. Responsibilities, necessary tasks to handle and an economic requirement to take care of. (Of course if you are certified BALLIN' like Jay-Z, none of this would matter and you'd go as you please, but, like myself, most people reading this aren't)

 I want to lock myself in a room in a glass house in the middle of nowhere and make music for 6 months straight. I want to breathe in deep fresh air through an open roof without the exhaust of 8 million people. I want to lay on my back and see stars without the ever present glow of street lights.(Film school pro-tip: We get the color of streetlights by putting Sodium Vapor (Super white flame 232) diffusion in front of blue HMI lights). I want to walk on the Earth and save my tired feet from the constant pounding of concrete, marble, steel, and all types of stone they are subjected to being supported by. I want to walk on trails. I want to climb a mountain. I want to sit on a mountain and do what I've done in hundreds of places all over this city : write. 

 I want to get away, and I will. It's only a matter of time. But damn, don't you sometimes just wanna GO? 

If you read this and have any ideas on where I should go feel welcome to leave suggestions

Under the Sheets

Written 2006 

"Under the Sheets"

9/11 was taking my innocence

I reminisce on before it was militant

Before I knew I was under the fence

I used to look up to the hills, I was dreaming so high

Thinking about owning a mansion and living the good life

But we're kept as tenants, they rock a hoody because it looks nice

I rock a hoody because it's so cold at night

they got these gated communities

but who's really in the cage?

trying to escape AIDS there is no immunity

there Might as well be barbed wire around another planet

I'm looking forward we can't retire like we planned it

They want to keep us out of mars

It's all good while they worry about their cars we can reach the stars

And look down from the mountains

but first you must learn how to smile as you kill

if you want to be like the folks on the hill

 Better trust you me, because I don't give a fuck

they should be happy that I even made it up here

Saying I got lucky, like I said it doesn't happen you can trust me

Since I'm 16 looking through my eyes real dusty

Under the sheets, freezing, can't believe that I'm breathing it in

Praying every night that we don't die in our sleep

 pulling up the covers, I Must be crazy

in norman bates scenes going 'Mother...'

the walls speak and the floors creak

I'm reaching the point where I need poison

European impressions are deep rooted 

while I'm influenced through cassettes

Even the illiterate know that Romeo loved Juliet

Going back to Roman tragedy

to my time this New York catastrophe

it's more than Sopranos my family is all tones

and I wanna go to Rome

but first you must learn how to smile as you kill

if you want to be like the folks on the hill

I believe in reincarnation

I believe one was gone and I was put here in place

to take a torch, 

give me one better reason why I create these thoughts

Why I'm better off in the past and in the present I'm lost?

My presence is often confused, 

 as a present with no thought is some jewelry

 bought to show love, 

 but what really matters is what you do when that time comes

when we're under the sheets

was it just a fuck? 

or was it what I've been waiting my whole life for?

hold it right there - my mind's numb I need to write more

the pages seem torn, even my words are at War

each day seems longer yet we're on a shorter and shorter fuse

Who's going to lose it first? 

 It explodes BOOM

as we move pawns towards a King, the fire burns

the game of Chess is like a sword fight

 my words cut through when I sing

fuck a Bishop my religion is this, and you saw why

but first you must learn how to smile as you kill

if you want to be like the folks on the hill

Stop Frontin' Republicans.

Barack Obama said in his speech last night after accepting the Democratic Party's nomination for President of the United States :

"But I stand before you all tonight because all across America something is stirring. What the naysayers don't understand is that this election has never been about me; it's about you"

I think, and I've said this from the beginning, that the most important effect Barack Obama has had, and will have, is in his ability to inspire others. People who were never interested in politics and did not have a care for how our government is run are now not only paying attention but making an effort to have an impact on their community and local governments. The good that comes from Obama's historic campaign is not in the people like me who have been into politics for years but it is in the people who never gave a shit because they thought their voice was worthless. These people who never gave a shit are now stepping up and saying "Yes We Can", and you can bet many of them will follow through on that vow. 

All of this goes a long way with what I heard Newark Mayor Cory Booker say on NY1's coverage last night before Obama's speech. He was asked if he had been asked if he was 'cut of the same cloth' of Obama representing a new rising politician, and his response was that he was like Obama but that across the country there were lots of other new politicians, a new 'generation' of them. He said "there are so many rising stars I can barely see the sky". 

I believe that.

Obama isn't going to lose - but EVEN in the possibility that he did there is no way all of these people are going to just give up. I can't believe that we are a country of quitters. We aren't. Yes We Can. The dream of America is overcoming anything and everything, every single person in America has an idea implanted in their head that it could always be better for all of us. Am I Lying? Am I Wrong? 

No, I'm not, so, 

Stop Frontin' Republicans. 

Peace & LOVE

t

Let Us Be

I spend the majority of my time(whether throughout my life's course, or at work) with people who are not only much older than myself, but with people who have young children, people who have grown children and people who are currently putting (while struggling financially) their kids through college. People who are caring for their aging parents. People who have responsibilities over others that take precedence over their own affairs. People who are worried about affording care for their sick child. People who are worried if they will even wake up the next day. People who have lost both of their parents, people who have lost brothers and sisters, people who have lost sons and daughters. People who are very close to me. People who were coerced into joining a military during wartime because a failing economy has dwindled their options of making a living. People who don't have healthcare and will not have it in the foreseeable future. People who were failed by a lacking and entirely ineffective New York City public school system. People who were never given the second or even first chance they deserved. People who were addicted to drugs and rather than being seen as a victim who needed help they were seen as a criminal who should face incarceration. People who were punished for making one of the very few choices made available to them. People who were forced to leave a city they were born & raised in because they could no longer afford to live there. People who do their best and accept what it gets them.

This must read like a political campaign list of constituents I am trying to reach for votes. I wish it was. These are all people of which I can identify an individual close to me who faces each of those problems. Am I being earnest in hoping that by acknowledging these people in my world that something will come of it? In hoping that someone somewhere will read this and be inspired to think about all of the people in their world, who maybe went unnoticed or forgotten? What good is a persons thoughts? My hope is that it will lead to action. That it will lead to those who were lucky, those like me, who have the resources and ability to do it, to bring their struggle forward so that they are not forgotten or overlooked. 

These people I talk about, they are the source of my immense gratitude for everything I've been given and blessed with. My attitude is deep-rooted in the belief through my experience that everything, EVERYTHING, could be so much worse in my world. 

I'm not rich. I have no formal education.  I own nothing in this world. I have my friends and family and that is it. They are everything to me and everything I do is for them. I believe in the presidency of Barack Obama because I believe that he not only help all of these people in my world, but that he will allow others, including myself, to be more effective in having an actual impact on their lives. 

There's nothing special or glorious about me(or Barack Obama for that matter). We are not crusaders on a righteous path of holiness. We are not great. We are good. Let us be.

A Day in the Life

6:05 AM : Awake in Brooklyn to a clear, just rained on summer morning. 

6:32 AM : Got on the L at graham and took it one stop to lorimer, transferred to the G ending up in court square QUEENS. Listened to Common's 1994 album "Resurrection" along the way.

7AM : Begin work in studio B at Silvercup. The shooting crew is in before us (at 6 AM).

1PM : Lunch in the "looks like it landed on earth from the moon" Citibank building(which, along with a fake representation of Silvercup, and so many other NYC spots, is in Grand Theft Auto IV. That shit is crazy.)

2PM: Back to work at Silvercup before the crew went to location. I took a ride with our rigging truck over the Queensboro bridge listening to Biggie Smalls ('One More Chance') and the Rolling Stones('Beast of Burden') on the radio. We made a right on 3rd avenue Uptown to the Ralph Lauren Showroom on 73rd and Madison(along the way our driver pulled the ill tight maneuver on 72nd, kids got skills). We parked outside and waited for the store to close. While waiting I had a long discussion with one of the electricians who happens to have some "extremely republican views"(as he says people view it). A smart man who while I disagree with understood that I was not of a particular political label and did not judge me based on our disagreements. This guy has some crazy real War Stories. His whole family is historically in the American Military. 

The store closed and it was our turn to prepare the set, right before I went in I told him he's gonna love me when he sees my Lennon glasses (AH I DON'T HAVE THEM BACK YET).

He calls himself a Patriot. He hates communism and fascists. He knows a ton of shit about History. I respect a man who knows history. America! Fuck yeah. 

sidenote:

ON TV and in the Mainstream Media these political distinctions and divisions are incited by companies who make channels like Fox News. 

It's ALL negativity. There is no positive to news that is influenced by an outside agenda or biased towards any certain group of people.  I personally am not too worried about it because the average person is getting too smart to be held back by bullshit! There are too many individual points of view for people to accept any one report as absolute truth.  

When the customers leave we come in with lights, stands, flags, bags, gels(my specialty), wires and bags and set everything up for the crew coming in tomorrow morning (at 6 AM). Some will be there at 5. I have to be there at 6:30.

8PM: Finished with our work in the showroom I walk(listening to A.Keys "Songs in a Minor") to the 68th street 6 train downtown . On the platform is an older man playing his violin (Very well!) with a piano score playing through a speaker. On to the 6 and I stayed with A.Keys but switched it over to her newest album "As I Am" with the song 'Where do We Go from Here'. Got off at 42nd street to catch the 5 express and next stop was 14 street, Union Square.

Back to the L where I started almost 14 hours ago. At my usual spot on the platform was a man painting and oh I should have taken a picture but it was great. 

Home finally at 9 PM and damn it's already late. I smoked my last cigarette outside and actually heard a guy walking by with a girl ask her "so... do you know anything about music?". Seriously, what? Two other girls stopped out front and discussed some relationship problem and went on their way. A man, his girlfriend or wife and their beautiful pitbull went by. I finished my cigarette and went inside. Still laughing about the question.

I'm listening to the new Nas album 

It's dope, and I'm trying not to be concerned about my iMac being disfunctional.

Monday, July 14th

Today was a long day. Off to a long shower. 

Peace & LOVE

t

Generation Kill?

NYtimes Story

"The attack was the worst of several reported on Sunday in Afghanistan"

I bet a sunday afternoon in afghanistan would look beautiful were it not for the bombs and smoke

The article also says it is the deadliest year in afghanistan for US soldiers since the war began in 2001. Nearly 700 afghan civilians have been killed since the beginning of this year.

and this is coming out on HBO tonight. 

Are we Generation Kill? I don't think so. I'll have to watch it. 

I think there's too many people like me who say 

PEACE

t

Spirit of '76

Independence. My grandfather was born July 4th, 1927. He worked as a mechanic for Pan-Am airways  mostly at JFK for 38 years and then he drove limos. I remember I was in 3rd grade and he picked us up from school in the what I now know as the Frank White lincoln stretch with the wing on the hood. He's the man. 

America is it's individuals, my grandfather, myself, and every one of us is what America is. The individual. To be individual, to be one, to be independent, is to be free. 

I hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday afternoon of this weekend and drivin' slow homeys

peace&love

t

Disturbing is the word

Heath Ledger, 28 years old, respected actor passed away tragically this week. 

It is sad to see anyone young pass so early. What is more disturbing to me is the media fixation on the details to the point where I think it becomes morbid. Now, I've been reading the NY Post for a long time (in one of my songs I say "check the Post, check the most fucked up shit I've ever seen") but this was just disturbing.

The headline "His Final Hours" with a picture of him looking pretty dazed is too much. 

Of course the Post is not the best place to get your news but it represents what a lot of people think.

Reading the NY Times wasn't any better today. 

who am I?

hello I'm thomas

that's me

I'm on the move

keep up if you can